Nerd!gasmic Crossovers That Will Never Happen... @ 11:08 pm
I am: nerdy
THIS IS THE MOST EPIC CROSSOVER OF ALL TIME! THIS CROSSOVER CAN HEAL CANCER AND MAKE YOU VOMIT RAINBOWS ALL THE WHILE COMBINING THE BEST GEEKDOMS IN THE WORLD!!!!
Seriously, this thing can combine:
The Avengers: (Iron Man, Black Widow, Thor, Loki, Hulk, Captain America, Hawkeye, etc...)
Okay so we start with the end of the Conan movie when Conan leaves the chick behind and rides off into the sunset...
He encounters Godric... because Godric was around back then... turns Conan into a vampire. Later, after Conan fucks off and does his own thing, Godric turns Eric and they romp around for hundreds of years. One day, prodigal son Conan returns and he and Eric do not exactly get along. They end up fighting over wanting to do evil nasty things to a fairy... who is all like "Oh fuck that shit" and POOF! Sends them off into space and time where they end up on the USS Enterprise. Holy shit.
They stick around after much investigating is done and la la la happiness, especially with Spock and Kirk there. One day BAM! The TARDIS just fucking slams into the Enterprise and The Doctor is like "Sorry! Sorry about tha- Ooooo, look at this! 23rd Century Earth originated space travel! Brilliant! Oh, hello, I'm The Doctor" and everyone is like WTF?!
Cue The Doctor trying to "fix" the damage the TARDIS caused... which inevitably leads him to start messing with the engines and the matter/anti-matter propulsion systems which... oh, fuck... BOOM! send the Enterprise into a wormhole and back to the 21st century only... crap... they're in the Pegasus Galaxy and the Enterprise (with the TARDIS still inside it) crashes into the ocean next to...
Atlantis. The Doctor was able to save most of the bridge crew of the Enterprise (including the vampire guests) and then fly the TARDIS directly into the city. Hello, Atlantis crew! Spock sort of mentally bitch slaps McKay in their attempt to figure out a solution. Ronon and Conan size each other up. And Kirk and Sheppard swap stories. OH NOES! The wraith are headed straight for Earth! The whole city of Atlantis jumps into hyperspace and gets flown all the way back to the Milky Way and lands in the San Fransisco Bay (this is actually CANON so it works!).
Now... Where does Stargate Command get all of their fun little toys and gadgets? If you haven't guessed already... Little place nearby... Stark Industries. Tony gets called out by Coleson to "deal with it" and while the other Avengers are crashing at Tony's mansion having raves or whatevs... They all get together and THIS IS THE MOST EPIC CROSSOVER IN THE HISTORY OF CROSSOVERS AND THE BEST PART IS THAT IT IS ALL PLAUSIBLE!!!!
Now someone just needs to write it...